a personal essay reflecting on the ending of a relationship that brought comfort but little fulfillment. venus and jupiter transiting my 12th house.
what is being made clear to me, through feeling and response, is meant to be addressed, transformed and cleansed. it is standing apart from everything else because I no longer align with that truth.
12th house energy coming in strong. i’ve reflected quite a bit this evening about the ways that I have held onto comfort over nourishment, believing I was fulfilling my emotional needs. security is the illusion of comfort. rather than run far away to “move forward,” I innerstand that the only way to move beyond is to move through. I am choosing to lean into the newly illuminated discomfort.
venus and jupiter transiting my 12th house is a beautiful goodbye to the vessels I have cherished, but have not always nourished me. the chalices are treasured. but they have been dry and empty for a long time. what allowed me to encourage, feed and nourish what I am now inclined to abandon? where was/is love present and how can it be directed in a healthier way?
resolution occurs when we have made peace with what we are ready to part with. we do this by not trying to take the “past” with us, but by transforming what comprised the past into what can healthily serve us in the present. we are never fully free or cleansed of our “pasts.” where does that trauma go? where does the love go? it does not disappear. if we allow it to be so, it comes with us in new, stronger ways that can support us and our actions moving forward.
we cannot take everyone with us, but we can take their Divinity in the form of lessons.
I am seeing this chapter as something that extends far beyond the realm of goodbye. I choose to cease my nourishment of what has failed to nourish me. saying goodbye to an iteration of a relationship that I have invested comfort, safety and security in is difficult. but it is all coming to light now so that I can salvage that love by honoring it. everything else might have been messy or draining, but what held it together in the first place was love. and so that love is coming along with me, to be poured into new places where my seeds will sprout and my buds will bloom.